I have never struggled with appearing perfect to anyone. It's just not in my wheelhouse. Growing up with so much failure in everything I tried, in school, in sports, in music, in my crazy wild curly hair, I just got used to being mediocre at everything. In addition, I am a type B personality and don't have an OCD bone in my body. I have mastered the apology for having a messy home, a crappy meal, arriving late, you name it. And I'm okay with that. I want to be good at people.
One of my goals is to be able to share my struggles so that others might avoid them, and make people feel comfortable just by being the hot mess of myself that I am. My car would drive the type A crazy, but if I'm stuck in a snowstorm on the side of the road I would have everything i need to survive. My home may be a mess, but you will be warmly welcomed any time. And you might find me at the grocery store half in my pjs which may make you feel like a beauty queen!
Do I show all of that on social media in photos? Of course not. I'm not afraid to, I just don't care to show it off. I'm not proud of my messy car, but I really don't care either. It's just not a priority to me. I do care about people.
People that don't want to appear weak to others have this intuition says "Don't get vulnerable Don't share struggles, don't let anyone see me sweat." because that might be admitting failure. But I would suggest the opposite.
When we encounter people that put their vulnerability out there, we don't perceive those people as weak. We perceive them as strong for being able to open up to us. We want to be around them because they make us feel more of ourselves, like maybe they aren't the only one with struggles. And they make people feel comfortable! To appear strong you have to let that mask go. You have to be the person that people want to be around because you aren't perfect. You are real. When people connect with yon they open up and share.
When you are the one in the room that knows everything, shares all of your perfect life and acts like you always have it together, you repel people.
To attract we must be vulnerable. There is a difference between the one that always complains and the one that shares their struggle. Sharing your struggle whether it be long or short term, means you are willing to share your mistakes so others might learn. You are reaching out for help or for a listening ear. You have empathy for others because you have been there.
Pay attention to the ones that are strong because they admit their weaknesses and want to improve. Those are your peop[l