• Laura Smith

2020: Started in March and Just Keeps On Going.

Updated: Sep 21

June. 23, 2020 What....a....mess


My last vacation to Florida was the last time that life was almost normal. I remember the last time I shook someone's hand. It was at a fancy seafood restaurant we met up with some friends and their relatives. The place was busy, but we heard rumors that things would be. shutting down soon.


So what has happened since then? Well, in a previous post found HERE you can read my journal as I chronicled what I knew was living history. Here is the last entry on May. 5th.


My perception of the past 6 weeks and the similarities to grief are exceptional. We lost our world as we know it and there is no endpoint in the foreseeable future. We will never truly go back to the way things “were.” The truth is we are all forever changed by this whether in a small or big way. When I look back, I hope that I can say that I came out a better, smarter, healthier, and more thoughtful me.


5/2 Last entry before sharing. I am sad that things won't be changing any time soon. I am sad that people are still insistent on shaming, on offering their uneducated and ignorant/unknowing opinions. Sad to see the signs all over restaurants and stores about how they are operating. I am sad that my kids are missing college and YET....I am still so very grateful fr the most amazing spring weather we've had in years, and friends and family that are healthy. Praying that in a few weeks, things will be going as well as can be expected after opening up.


What I didn't realize at the time, was the truth in which I was writing. As I sit here today, June 23rd, 2020, our world is more in turmoil than ever. So much. so that I am choosing to use a bullet point list to save time. Google is our friend. If you want to learn more, just google of these events to learn more.


May 25th George Floyd was killed by police.....You can read about it everywhere. HERE is just one article. What do I think? I think this murder was a catalyst for what is ensuing right now with regard to a movement. Call it Black Lives Matter or not. You can research the political ties to this title, but it is still meaningful. It is powerful and it is not going away as it has many times before. I am not sure why George Floyd was the catalyst, but it is my opinion that we are raising a new generation of people of all colors, that are ready for change. We are learning about "white privilege" being schooled that "Black Lives Matter" doesn't mean that other lives don't matter, but that this is what we are fighting for now. We are learning about history like never before. Flags, Statues, Aunt Jemima, Nascar racing, and personal testimony of many black people.


Here are just some of the things being found on social media lately:


Protests turned riots. And not, these are NOT the same group of people. Peaceful protests. were invaded by rioters.


Police are under extreme stress as they are being attached physically and emotionally as they try to do their jobs.


Both. of these above items have examples of how there are extremists and bad people on both. sides. Somehow it seems. you. are either on the side of the cops or black people.

Making Juneteenth a National Holiday is happening.


Historical statues are being torn down and defaced since they represent our negative history makers. Many people disagree with this and feel they are "erasing" history. And of course, there are those extremists out there that haven't a clue what they are tearing down at all. I share the same opinion as Beau, in the video at the top of the paragraph. I also know that in other countries, such as Germany, they have saved the buildings, but the statues that are there represent that horror that happened so that we WILL remember. Maybe it's. time to erect some new statues in America for that purpose.


Bubba Wallace, (this is a good read!) Nascar driver, amidst controversy about the flying of the. Confederate flag (which by the way is actually NOT the real the heritage of the confederate flag, found a noose in his garage. Edited on 6/10 that the noose was actually a real rope used to lift the garage doors and was found on several doors simply because that is how they were designed. So, we have a lot of people very hyper-aware of situations involving Covi and race.


People are sharing their opinions (or not, which also is very telling) all over social media, and in person. Comments such as, :"If you don't like what I am saying then you can defriend me", or "Comments that are against. what I believe will be deleted," and so on.


And then there is the mask controversy. Do we wear one or do we not? Is it infringing on our rights (that one makes me laugh a little because "no shoes, no shirt, no service...it's not that different) or is it a thoughtful act towards others? Is the virus all just hysteria made up by the media or is the threat as real is they portray. Well, that is why I watch our local doctor's new conference. Either way, it's a hot mess!


6/10/20 and the saga continues. The nation is opening up and people are getting Covid. What is apparent is that it is everywhere and there doesn't seem to be a good way to be SURE to not get it. Sure, we can all wear masks when we are out. We can distance, although that is difficult. We can try to stay out of restaurants and gatherings. But then school will start? None of it makes sense. I see the blame/shame game around on all sides. It is political, it is science-based and is constantly changing. Nobody knows who or what to believe. And what if somehow, it if discovered that YOU are the one that brings Covid home to a loved one that gets skin? the emotional indications are overwhelming.


As I reflect on words written in the past few month, I realize how fluid this all is.


8/21/20: Today is Cam's 24th birthday. Covid has helped and hindered his life. He moved out of his apartment at the end of his last semester at Mizzou because they canceled classes and both kids were home for 3 months. He graduated! But then what? After being lonely for long enough, he made the decision to move to St. Louis without a job. He had a little money saved, and knew he could Door Dash for cash. He loves it there, but cannot find a job just like so many his age right now.


Everyone is weary. Every day there is a new change. Not a day goes by that were arent' talking about, reading about, or watching about Covid. There is so much misinformation out there. Nobody knows what to truly believe. OR, they think they know and are sure to tell everyone on their social media platform about it. Facebook has been especially obnoxious with people voicing their opinions on how stupid people are.


ALL OF THIS: *an election in November (please let's get Trump out of office)

*Covid

*racial tensions

*sex trafficking awareness like never before.....which is interesting to me and something I am curious to refer back to after the election. It is odd to me that most of my Republican friends are all of the sudden super concerned about an issue that has been around for a while.


9/21/20 Yup, we are still weary, but you can add frustrated to that as well. School is back in session. Some districts are allowing in person learning for all students that want it, and some, like Liberty, are doing a "hybrid" model which is 2 days in person and 3 days at home. It stinks. There are so many things wrong with it that I am not sure where to start so I will just make a list:


*Kids aren't in their normal routine

*They aren't with their friends and can't sit with others at lunch or do group work

*Having to be on their own to do work at home works for about 10% of kids.

*The WORST is the technoblogy that isn't working. As a tutor, I feel as if I am dealing with this much more than with that actual academics.

*There just aren't 'case of Covid where people are getting really sic k unless they are older or immunocompromised. At this point. personal responsibility seems to be the way to go. But I understand how we all want to keep kids safe.

*If you have a stuffy nose/allergies etc ... you have to stay home.





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©2019  Laura Smith

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